Drinking Is All That Matters

---

Angus McMillan
Drank up his Killian's
Peeled off his kilt, then
Rumpled his stiltzkin

He'd gone commando
And he'd no tan, so
All there were blinded
Nobody minded

Drown all the bastards
Sing past the rafters
Temperance shatters
Drinking's all that matters

Half past a quarter
Maggie McWhorter
Sucked down a pitcher
Of fine English bitter

"That's not yer table!"
Yelled Famous Mabel
"I'll buy ye another"
"Thanks, sure, me mother"

We'll drain the last of
The Murphy's and Gladstone's
Ales, stouts, and porters
Beer is all that matters

We can't see 'cause we're face down on the ground
We are singing so we cannot hear a sound
We barely dance but we sure do get around
Round and round...

Dusty O'Hanlon
Drinks only sloe gin
Sadie the Stepmom
Downs all the Carbombs

Paul loves the poitín
Crystal and pristine
Viola Grimsby
Lives off of Scoresby

Barrels all scattered
Brain cells in tatters
Madder than hatters
Whiskey's all that matters

Five AM somewhere
Searching for dog hair
Bread from a bottle
Tea at full throttle

Some say we're wicked
Wretched and pickled
I say we oughta
PASS THE POLISH VODKA!!

We are the masters
Of liquid disaster
Waking' up still plastered
Wishing we're on casters

Drown all the bastards
Sing past the rafters
Records will shatter
​Drinking's all that matters

© 2022 John Brocato