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I Carry Whiskey (Everywhere I Go)


I’m not a pauper and I’m not a prince
I never carry cash I don’t make sense
I like to think that I’m a gentleman
I’ll let you figure it out for yourself

I carry whiskey everywhere I go
My liquid brother, my brown-eyed soul
I can’t forget what I will never know
I carry whiskey everywhere I go

I jumped from Similac to Maker's Mark
What I consumed could capsize Noah's ark
While all my peers were playing in a park
I was communing with the corn and rye

Chorus

See, I learned real quick you gotta bring your own
Otherwise your liver might feel all alone
I'd rather be stone drunk than getting stoned
You gotta drink, but you ain't gotta smoke

Chorus

Elijah Craig and me we go way back
I like to give him rides in my backpack
The straw I suck throws everyone off-track
They think it's water AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

They see me coming and they know it's time
To make Old Fashioneds with orange rinds
I pull a flask from back near my behind
And then we're soaring with the Eagle Rare

I got a bible that is hollowed out
Corinthians knows what it's all about
I swat the Gideons upon the snout
And then we do a shot of Jameson

Chorus

Best place on Earth I know is Dave's Dark Horse
The center of the universe, of course
It's always fun to get it from the source
But I bring airplane bottles just in case

Chorus

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